The dangers of the internet

People always tell you to watch out for internet predators. You know, those creeps who IM you and go "hey baby, let's meet up in a dark alley. I promise it'll be perfectly safe." and then they kill you. While I'm sure these internet creepers pose a threat for some people, others are smart enough not to fall for those shenanigans. 

Let's talk about social networks. Myspace (who now changed their header to My[_____] , those funny little buggers) has always been the home of straight up creepers. It's harder to creep on Facebook because a lot of people only accept kids they know or people that have tons of mutual friends that they know really well. Twitter isn't so bad because you can set your Tweets to private, but if not, spam Twitters and porno Twitters can follow you. And trust me, they will. 

Social networks are fun. They kill time and there's always something fascinating to look at or people to stalk. But trust me, THEY'RE DANGEROUS.

It starts out innocently, just surfing the net...

Then you decide to check your Twitter. You see on your newsfeed that someone got into a college you applied to. You @reply the person saying "YAY CONGRATS! I WANT TO FIND OUT TOO!" and they @reply you back, "I got an email! Check it if you applied too!"

So you go check your email, and sure enough, you see an email from your dream school announcing that admissions decisions have been posted and are available to view online and will also be mailed to you soon!

Suddenly you're super excited! You quickly sign-in to your online account to find out if all your dreams are actually coming true. You figure, "hey, if so-and-so got in, so will I!" Your body is riddled with nerves and excitement. You know that if someone took a picture of you, you'd look like this:

So you sign in. And then you read. And you see the decision and it says:

An avalanche of emotions hit you. 

You spend the next hours wondering how some people got in but you, a person who got a 2100 on the SATs and takes tons of AP classes, didn't.

You try to get over it, but now you're wishing you had stayed off the computer because it has completely crushed your dreams. You spend the afternoon and evening listening to sad alternative music and trying not to cry since you're pretty sure your tear ducts have shriveled up and died and besides, you have a raging headache.

You try to find someone that is willing to hang out with you, but everyone seems to be busy.

So then you go to bed at 9:30. On a Friday night. 

The next morning, you wake up a bundle of nerves and sadness. You drown yourself in caffeine just so you can function. You try to practice your guitar, which usually calms you down, but your hands are shaking too badly to pluck the strings. So instead you get on the evil computer that ruined your life and obsessively blog about your troubles.

Stay away from the internet, kids. And drugs. Drugs are bad, too. 

Happy Birthday!

I'd like to take some time to wish a very happy birthday to my little sister, Taylor, who is the only one who reads my blog religiously. If I had any baking skills, I would make her a cake and she would love it.

My fantasy is that she would be wearing a party hat and celebrating her birthday all lonely and sad because nobody thought to make her a cake. That's where I come in.

I would show up with a lovely piece of baked art and surprise her with its beauty. She would be overjoyed and her birthday would be saved!

Unfortunately, this didn't happen. Hopefully a blog post shout-out will suffice.

Happy birthday, Taylor (:

Catz.

Cats. We have a love-hate relationship. And by love-hate, I mean they love me and I hate them. I've always been a dog person. I love love love puppy dogs of all shapes and sizes. Lately I've adored Boxers because their puppies are just so freaking adorable (click on the word puppies). And they grow up to be equally adorable dogs! I want one. Unfortunately, my mom is allergic to fur, so I'll have to make do with the large stuffed dog named "Champ" that sits at the bottom of my basement stairs. I put him there. He freaks people out.

Anyways, I think the reason I really don't like cats is because I'm allergic to them. My face starts itching and then it gets blotchy and I look like a freak of nature.

The other day I was forced to walk around the mall like that. Thoroughly embarrassing. Luckily for me, there was a Sephora where I could cover my blotchy face with makeup.

Now, this wouldn't be such a problem for me if I wasn't a cat magnet. Seriously, cats love me. They like to rub themselves all over me. I can never get away!

Everyone makes excuses for them. "Aw, he/she just wants some love!" or "Look! He/she likes you!"

No. False. Lies. THEY KNOW. Somehow they KNOW that I will break out and itch and my throat will get stuffy and therefore they rub their furry cat bodies all over me.

I truly do hate cats. I'm allergic to them and all they do is rub on me and sleep. Dogs are so much better. I'm not allergic to them and they're cute, loyal, and playful. 

See? Dogs are awesome! And to prove my point, I spent twice as long drawing that puppy than I did any cat drawing.

Although, I guess cats have a few positives. One, they're pretty. Incredibly pretty. I can't deny that. They look all regal and stuff, ya know? And they KNOW IT. I think cats are pretty conceited. They sit in sunny spots and stretch and stuff. I know they're just trying to say "LOOK AT MEEEE I AM GORGEOUS"

Oh, and I just saw this thing on Tumblr that is about how awesome cats are. I tend to disagree with the idea that these traits make them awesome, but hey, whatever. 

I hope I haven't offended any of my cat-loving readers.

The complaints of a high school senior.

I am so stressed. I know that up to this point, my posts have been extremely upbeat and lighthearted...this isn't one of those posts. If you came here looking for laughs, look elsewhere. I need to dump out everything that's eating me up inside so I'm doing it here.

• I still have not been accepted into any colleges. All of my friends have.
• In fact, I still haven't gotten my transcript packets to send to the colleges that I applied to.
• I study for hours and still don't get the grades that I want. I work on homework until my hands hurt. I read all the chapters, I take copious notes...yet my grades are mediocre at best. No matter how hard I try or how much I want to succeed, all colleges will see is the letter grade and I will never be given a chance.
• All of my friends get amazing grades without trying. It's horrible to have to continuously compare myself to the people I'm surrounded by and realize I will never be on par with them.
• I feel like my short attention span is getting worse. For the first time in my life, I feel like I need to be medicating myself in order to feel any sort of control.
• I feel like I'm failing.
• I have pushed people away because I just don't want to deal with them. I can't deal with anything other than myself and my own issues. 
• People have consistently been working to ruin my relationship. I think it's over now, but it was horrible to have to sit back and not do anything for months. 
• I've recently been entrusted with a horrible secret that I don't know if I can keep. It's already tearing me apart. 
• I am consistently being lied to about the most idiotic things.
• I have no freedom. 

That's all. Sorry for the purely negative blog post...I just had to get everything out.

UPDATE: Today a suspicion of mine was confirmed. I knew it would hurt a lot to know the truth, which I guess is why I never asked. I suppose that subconsciously I didn't want to know. It just sucks to know there are things I'll never have, no matter how much I want them. Sometimes the truth hurts more than believing the lie forever.

SUH SUH SUH SNOW

The best thing ever is to look at the weather forecast and see that there's supposed to be TONS OF SNOW! I get super pumped and do a little happy dance. The only thing that could make this better is if it happens on a school night! As a senior, I don't have to make up snow days, so I get hella excited about any prospect of no school.

Unfortunately, I live in an area that never gets snow. Except last year when we had the snowpocalypse, snow always seems to just...miss us.

I always hear about snow and I fantasize that the next morning I'll look outside and the world will be covered in a lovely blanket of snow and that the news will say that school is closed. Then I'll put on my lax bro hat and run out into the snow!

But of course, my fantasies are just that: fantasies. In reality, the storm will split and completely go around my lame state and leave us without snow and school-bound the next morning.

Anyways, today is our FIRST SNOW DAY! Unfortunately, the roads are so icy that I can't do anything and Boyfriend lives way too far away to walk to his house. So I suppose I'll be sitting inside all day studying for midterm exams or something equally fun, like bashing my head against a brick wall.

I'm gonna go on TV and shovel sh*t into my face

Um...the title of this entry has no real importance or significance to this post. It's just something my friend just said. He's watching me type. Now it's awkward. There is cat hair all over his sweatshirt. Gross. You'd think he could find a lint roller...or wear a different sweatshirt. I'm pretty sure the sweatshirt is supposed to be black but you'd never know with the layer of white cat hair on it.

Anyways, I'm pretty much just sitting here on my friends couch with her little sister blogging and watching them get it on. Babies are in the making.

Well, I'm exaggerating, but they are being all lovey dovey. I'm really glad that I'm third wheeling. And I'm going to the movies with them tonight. Without Boyfriend. Boyfriend left me to go to Duquesne for an audition ): Major sadness.

I assume my life for the next hour or so will look like this:

This is reminding me of one time when I was like...7. My family used to throw these huge family New Years parties and all my friends used to come with their parents. One year I just really wanted to tell ghost stories. I don't know why, but I had an obsession with telling really bad and not at all scary ghost stories. Unfortunately, after like 5 minutes my friends got really bored so they tried to get me to do something else.

I was a brat about it. I stormed off to my room and left them really confused in my basement.I whipped out my sketchbook and sketched away my frustrations.

I was an aspiring artist at 7, even though all I could draw was stick figures and animals with lopsided heads.

After sitting alone in my room for an hour or so, my friends finally decided to see if I was okay. They came up to my room and of course I was a total jerk. I was all, I JUST WANTED TO TELL GHOST STORIES BUT IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE YOUR WAY BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL SELFISH!!!!!!

Needless to say, I was a whiner.

Anyways, I'm basically being ignored by my two friends while they get it on 5 feet away from me. It's okay, I'm used to it. At least I still have my Red Bull.

Anyways. Time to do other exciting things, like bite my nails or maybe pick lint off of my socks.

UPDATE: I just got yelled at for "not contributing". Contributing TO WHAT?! Do they want me to join in? Threesomes kind of scare me.

Boyfriend is an ALIEN!

Sometimes I just can't make it through the week. I wake up on Monday and I'm completely dead. I trudge through the day like a zombie, barely able to function. By Tuesday I'm better. I think to myself YEAH! THIS WEEK IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! I FEEL GREAT! Plus I get to eat half price Qdoba chicken queso burritos and those things are delicious.

By Wednesday, the greatness is wearing off, but I still feel pretty good. I get through the day just fine although I'm a little tired by the end of it. I usually take a nice power nap in the afternoon (aka like 3 hours) if I'm not hanging out with Boyfriend. Boyfriend would rather be entertained than sit around while I sleep. He likes it when I talk to him for some reason even though I have to say I'm the most boring person on Earth.

Anyways, by the time Thursday comes around, I'm so tired that I want to punch a baby in the face and possibly rip the head off of a koala bear.

Yes, that tired.

Anyways, today is Thursday and I'm contemplating suicide because Friday is 6 hours away and then I have to suffer through 7 more hours of school until the weekend comes. Thank goodness I only have a few months of high school left for the rest of my life.

Anyways, so what's on my mind is this: I think Boyfriend is an alien. Don't write this off as me being stupid, I have some pretty good justifications for my theory!

1. He is somehow able to stay up really late, regardless of the fact that he has virtually no homework, all the time and function during the day. It's miraculous.

2. He loves mayonnaise. Who likes mayonnaise?! I'll tell you who: ALIENS!!!!!

3. He doesn't think I'm weird. I guess people like me are the norm on his home planet.

4. He always tells me I'm beautiful. Even when I'm not wearing any makeup and I'm tired and looking like this:

5. He can eat a ridiculous amount of Qdoba. I can never even finish one burrito but I've seen him eat more than one. Insanity.

6. He prefers driving manual to automatic. I guess he's used to it because his space ship is a manual or something.

So yeah, I thought those were some pretty good reasons. I'm really becoming quite concerned about this. I know he would never probe MY brain but I'm worried for my friends and family! They have brains that are probably very appealing to brain-probing aliens like Boyfriend.


UPDATE: I talked to several people about it and it was agreed that mayonnaise is a sure sign of being an alien. I guess it's official then.