- I still have not been accepted into any colleges. All of my friends have.
- In fact, I still haven't gotten my transcript packets to send to the colleges that I applied to.
- I study for hours and still don't get the grades that I want. I work on homework until my hands hurt. I read all the chapters, I take copious notes...yet my grades are mediocre at best. No matter how hard I try or how much I want to succeed, all colleges will see is the letter grade and I will never be given a chance.
- All of my friends get amazing grades without trying. It's horrible to have to continuously compare myself to the people I'm surrounded by and realize I will never be on par with them.
- I feel like my short attention span is getting worse. For the first time in my life, I feel like I need to be medicating myself in order to feel any sort of control.
- I feel like I'm failing.
- I have pushed people away because I just don't want to deal with them. I can't deal with anything other than myself and my own issues.
- People have consistently been working to ruin my relationship. I think it's over now, but it was horrible to have to sit back and not do anything for months.
- I've recently been entrusted with a horrible secret that I don't know if I can keep. It's already tearing me apart.
- I am consistently being lied to about the most idiotic things.
- I have no freedom.
UPDATE: Today a suspicion of mine was confirmed. I knew it would hurt a lot to know the truth, which I guess is why I never asked. I suppose that subconsciously I didn't want to know. It just sucks to know there are things I'll never have, no matter how much I want them. Sometimes the truth hurts more than believing the lie forever.
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