Boyfriend is an ALIEN!

Sometimes I just can't make it through the week. I wake up on Monday and I'm completely dead. I trudge through the day like a zombie, barely able to function. By Tuesday I'm better. I think to myself YEAH! THIS WEEK IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! I FEEL GREAT! Plus I get to eat half price Qdoba chicken queso burritos and those things are delicious.

By Wednesday, the greatness is wearing off, but I still feel pretty good. I get through the day just fine although I'm a little tired by the end of it. I usually take a nice power nap in the afternoon (aka like 3 hours) if I'm not hanging out with Boyfriend. Boyfriend would rather be entertained than sit around while I sleep. He likes it when I talk to him for some reason even though I have to say I'm the most boring person on Earth.

Anyways, by the time Thursday comes around, I'm so tired that I want to punch a baby in the face and possibly rip the head off of a koala bear.

Yes, that tired.

Anyways, today is Thursday and I'm contemplating suicide because Friday is 6 hours away and then I have to suffer through 7 more hours of school until the weekend comes. Thank goodness I only have a few months of high school left for the rest of my life.

Anyways, so what's on my mind is this: I think Boyfriend is an alien. Don't write this off as me being stupid, I have some pretty good justifications for my theory!

1. He is somehow able to stay up really late, regardless of the fact that he has virtually no homework, all the time and function during the day. It's miraculous.

2. He loves mayonnaise. Who likes mayonnaise?! I'll tell you who: ALIENS!!!!!

3. He doesn't think I'm weird. I guess people like me are the norm on his home planet.

4. He always tells me I'm beautiful. Even when I'm not wearing any makeup and I'm tired and looking like this:

5. He can eat a ridiculous amount of Qdoba. I can never even finish one burrito but I've seen him eat more than one. Insanity.

6. He prefers driving manual to automatic. I guess he's used to it because his space ship is a manual or something.

So yeah, I thought those were some pretty good reasons. I'm really becoming quite concerned about this. I know he would never probe MY brain but I'm worried for my friends and family! They have brains that are probably very appealing to brain-probing aliens like Boyfriend.


UPDATE: I talked to several people about it and it was agreed that mayonnaise is a sure sign of being an alien. I guess it's official then.